In this episode, we dive into strategies for managing up with hands-off managers, inspired by Irina Cozma's article in Harvard Business Review. Building on leadership skills discussed in episode 7, we explore the three C's: coaching, communication, and consulting skills, and how to apply them to manage up effectively. Learn how to ask pointed questions, position yourself as a partner to your manager, and create connection and shared accountability so you can set yourself up for success in your relationship with your manager while working remotely.
Read HBR's "How to Work for a Hands-off Manager When You're Fully Remote" by Irina Cozma.
Listen to episode 7, Leadership and Culture-Building in the Age of Remote Work
Visit www.workitremote.com to stay connected to the Work It, Remote community!
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Ep 8 Managing Up: A Key Skill for Remote Work Success
Podcast and Copyright: Work it, Remote
Host: Erika Bergen
Published: January 16, 2025
[00:00:00] Today, I want to share my hot take on an article that came out this week in the Harvard Business Review Digital Edition. It's called “How to Work for a Hands Off Manager When You're Fully Remote.” It's written by Irina Coszma.I hope I'm pronouncing her name correctly. And it gives three techniques for managing up if you're in this scenario: Hands off manager, fully remote.
Now, I think Irina gives some great tips and you can check out the article. It's linked in the show notes. I was inspired to talk about this because last week, episode seven, we talked about leadership with Kerri Warner, head of employee communications. Culture and engagement at PayPal in that episode [00:01:00] She shared three skills leaders need to master to become exemplary and those were coaching skills communication skills and consulting skills.
Now you can go back and find that episode and listen to her dig into each of those, what they mean in the context of leadership in a remote world.
But I wanted to go back to this framework and these three skills, because I think what this article does is it flips it. So in last week's episode, episode number seven, we talked about the skills that a leader needs in order to lead. This week, we're talking about how do you manage up, when you have a leader that isn't skilled or isn't as skilled, especially when working with somebody who's remote.
And I've gotten this question before. What is manage up? How do you manage up? And we're going to get into that. We're going to use , the three C's to talk about how do you manage up? And I'd like to think that I have [00:02:00] a point of view on this for two reasons:
One, I've been working remote since 2019 and I have the experience of working for managers and needing to do these three things and also have managed others. The other reason is that I am, and I haven't talked about this much in previous episodes, but I am a communications consultant and coach, and one of the things that I love to do is work with people in navigating their careers.
And so through those two perspectives, I want to share how I interpret these three C's from a managing up context.
Now before I dive into the three C's and flipping them to managing up, I'm just going to share a bit about what Irina talks about. Her top three things, and I think these are all great advice. Again, I encourage you to go check out the article, read it in detail, but the three things are to know your work style and your manager's work style, to become aware of how you work.
So that you can partner more effectively to schedule one on ones. And I think this is a great call out. I'm always surprised and it [00:03:00] happens often. So I probably shouldn't be surprised anymore, but I always am when I learned that there is not a one on one cadence between a leader and their direct report, but she talks about this and the value of it and her third is to network within the organization Essentially, if you're not getting any shine or visibility from your manager to go get it for yourself, right? that's great coaching advice in order to build your visibility in an organization.
So let's shift now. How can you use the model that Kerri gave us the three C's coaching skills, communication skills and consulting skills to manage up? And this from my perspective could be a leader who's hands off or just a leader who's not that developed in their leadership, are so many people who get put into management positions because they've shown that they can do their job well, but being a manager isn't only about knowing how to do the work. It's about knowing how to lead and [00:04:00]inspire others. And that's a skill that takes time.
It takes intention. It doesn't come naturally to all of us. And so if you have a leader like that, what can you do?
Let's tackle coaching skills first. Kerri talks about coaching skills as. asking open ended questions to help your team discover what their next step should be. And her reason behind this is that over time, you really are empowering the person to have more autonomy in their work. If they are discovering their next step on their own.
And that's something that you really want, particularly your remote employees to do because they are so often working without the same level of collaboration that people in the office are getting.
What I see as a thread here is the questions, the skill, Of asking good questions, questions can help you do two things. They can help you get a clear idea of what the ask is so that you can be more successful in what you're doing from the beginning. You're [00:05:00] setting yourself up for success.
And the second thing that questions can do is really clue your manager in on how you think about things, what your style is. And in a way you. Start to teach them how to better manage you. If you are consistent in the types of questions that you ask, then your manager will likely pick up on that and begin to give you that information in the beginning,
so here's a couple things that I have found to be really good questions to ask, and this is if I don't already know the answer to them, right? So the first question to consider is, do you have the context? What's the big picture here? Right? And the way I'd ask this is, do you have a moment to provide me with more context on how this project came to be?
Get context, get a, a landscape so that you can settle in on, okay, I'm being asked to do this, but how is this contributing to this larger picture? [00:06:00] That helps you be more thoughtful in how you go about the project and how you prioritize it. And it also just gives your manager the sense that you care, right, that you care how your work is impacting the goals of the team or the organization.
The second is who is the audience,this something that's coming from your boss? Is this something , that your boss is being asked to do? Is there some other stakeholder or audience involved?
Great question help you get into the mindset of the work who is ultimately going to be looking at this, reviewing it, consuming it in some way. Another question I love to ask is around partnership or ownership You know who else on the team or in the business is owning or has ownership in this project or Is there someone else I should be collaborating with on this project?
In today's environment, collaboration is needed on most things. So understanding upfront where that collaboration is [00:07:00]expected, when it's expected in the process, and how the engagement should work from your boss's view is going to, again, set you up for success. And then you've got the basic things like, when is this due?
What's the urgency around this? Getting some understanding of how quickly this needs to get done so that you can tackle it appropriately. And I believe in being really transparent on what's on your list. I think too often, especially women I see do this, you know, just get it done. We just, we just Put our heads down and we get the work done and we end up over committing ourselves and working so hard to get all the things done.
And a question that I love to ask is, look, I've got this, this in this on my list to tackle today. Can you give me some guidance on where the urgency is so I can plan my day accordingly so I can meet all the deliverables appropriately, Be clear about [00:08:00]what's on your plate and coach your manager to give you direction on how to prioritize so that you are meeting the expectations.
What I found in asking these questions oftentimes is that there's a lot of information that the manager has that wasn't given in the initial request. And so by asking those questions, I am training my manager to start giving me that information. I'm managing up so that they understand that's information that I want, information that I need to feel like my fear underneath me.
You're letting them know that you find this type of information valuable. It's also an opportunity to create shared accountability in your relationship with your manager. You're accountable because you're being asked to do something and you're making sure that you have the information you need in order to deliver it on time as expected.
And it's giving your manager some accountability in this because so often, especially when you're remote, emails just fly in, [00:09:00] chats fly in, calls fly in, and nobody sees. Right? The amount of time you're spending in front of your computer on the phone, managing all of these different incoming requests, managing your to do list during the day.
So when you are very transparent about, I've got this, this, this, and this that I'm working on today, what is the urgency around this new request? How do you want me to shift these priorities? That gives your manager some accountability in giving you the guidance that you need to be successful
It gives them an opportunity also to step up, check in and provide support because sometimes that's also what we need our leaders to do, right? And our managers to do is to, is to better support us in getting our work done. And one way they can do that is by helping us prioritize to ensure we're spending our time.
On the things they're going to provide the most value to the team and to the business.
The next up is communication skills. , Kerri talks about this from a leader perspective, being attuned and tuning [00:10:00] in, and she talks a lot about nonverbal communication and inviting authentic connection via communication.
And I think the same is true if you are the person that's being managed, that you are can work with your manager to invite humanity into your discussions to get to know your boss beyond work. Now in the article it mentions one on one meetings and one on one meetings are really important. I agree 1000 percent that you should be meeting regularly, weekly with your manager and you should be sharing updates and you should be spreading kudos and you should be getting alignment, but you should also use that time to connect.
And you can do that in a couple of ways. You can small talk at the beginning. And for some. Managers, this might not be easy, right? Not all managers want to small talk.
I have certainly had people that I've worked for who were not interested in [00:11:00] talking about their personal lives at all. They were really busy. They had 20 minutes to talk to me and they just wanted me to get into it. But I still think It's important to try to find some sort of humanity and connection, especially if you're someone who values that.
And I am. I am somebody who values connecting with people. And so in order for me to feel fulfilled in my work, I need that connection. to feel connected to the people I'm working with. So because that's a value of mine, I make it a priority to try to build that connection with people that I'm working with.
And you might feel differently, but I still think it's valuable in a remote work setting, especially with your manager, to get to know them.
And another way you can go about this, if your manager is not interested in talking about personal stuff is to try to understand what keeps them up at night. Ask them about how that meeting went.
Ask them about how the conference went. get their take on what's going on in the competitive landscape, [00:12:00] right? Maybe some big industry news just came out. Ask them what they think about it. Maybe earnings were just released for your company. Ask them what they think about it, right? Get their thoughts and perspective on what's going on in the business.
It shows that you're interested and it also changes the dynamic of the one-on-one. So it's not just a report out on work, but it's becomes more of a dialogue, more of a give and take.
Another thing you could do is ask them what they're busy with.
It gives you a fuller picture of what your manager is prioritizing, what they're thinking about, how they're spending their time. And it also gives you a chance to try to. Find ways to plug into that, right? If you know that your manager is spending 50 percent of their time on strategic planning. That's a lot of their time.
How can you get more involved in strategic planning, right? If you know that your manager is spending a lot of time trying [00:13:00] to solve a particular client challenge or trying to launch a product, Then how can you find a way to get in on that project? Maybe not this time, but maybe in the future, keep your eye on those types of projects so that you can start to take on things that are going to be good for your career.
Now, the last skill is consulting skill , carry champions. The idea that leaders should work with those who report to them like partners, they should be partners in getting the work done together. Consultants use. a very process driven approach to working with clients. There's a beginning, there's a middle, there's an end, right?
And there's a very clear direction along the way in terms of who's doing what and what is being done when. And this approach translates really well when you're managing up. At the beginning of a project, at the beginning of the year, at the beginning of a busy season, [00:14:00] get alignment up front on what the objectives are.
Do that proactively, view yourself as a partner and treat your boss as a partner. Even if they're not doing that. Take the initiative to have that conversation to get on the same page and then meet along the way. I think this is particularly true when you're working with somebody for the first time.
It's a new manager relationship or you're working on something brand new. As you start to work on it, you want to show work early before you do the whole thing.
You want to build out a skeleton or framework of the thing and then show it to your manager and get their buy in, get their pushes, right? And do it quickly. Don't wait two weeks to show a first run, In 24 hours, 48 hours at the end of the week, get them something to take a look at and to ensure that you're on the right track.
And I've learned this the hard way. I worked with a manager for the first time and got asked to [00:15:00] do something that I had done Many times before and I just went and did it the way that I'd always done it But then when I showed it to that manager It was not what they were expecting.
They had a different view on what the final product should look like. And it wasn't that my approach was wrong. It just, it wasn't meeting the expectation of my manager. And if I had shown that draft Earlier in the process I could have saved a lot of time and it also would have been an opportunity to connect and Be partners in the work together,
So you want to get something in front of them before you get too far down the path eventually you and your manager will speak the same language if you're not already but I have found in a new relationship or when working on a new type of assignment, you really want to create that partnership model.
In the same spirit, consultants are hired because They can see around corners, They're really good at knowing trends, forecasting things, don't [00:16:00] take for granted the fact that you are in your job every single day.
Your manager isn't. Your manager is looking at things from a very different view, and it might have been a long time since they were actually in the weeds on the work that you're doing. So when something comes in and you get a request. Your manager might not fully understand all that it takes. They also may not be on the ground in a way where they get the dynamics between people, where they understand where the team strengths are, where they understand where the landmines might be.
Right? So your ability to spot potential challenges, articulate that, and then provide ideas for solutions. And that's an important part because you don't want to just be a problem spotter. You want to be a problem solver. But this positions you as not just someone who takes orders and gets things done and says yes.
This positions you as somebody [00:17:00] who is thoughtful, who is strategic, who can take a long term view, and who understands all the dynamics of what it takes to get something done. Because getting something done often doesn't mean me sitting at my desk working hard for two hours.
It involves systems, it involves people. It involves processes, it involves meetings and collaboration. so you having the foresight to understand how things are going to unfold and then perhaps even give feedback and help to shape the project or the outcome based on your understanding of all that's involved is going to.
Bring forward that consulting skill that's going to help your manager see you as not just someone who gets things done, but someone who is working alongside them with the same goal of getting the work done. It's a very different distinctive way of how you engage with your manager.
[00:18:00] So thank you, Kerri, for providing these gems, coaching, communication, consulting. I think these are great skills. They're relevant, whether you're a leader or you're managing up. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Please visit workitremote. com. Check out episode number seven, if you haven't already. And you can read the article from Harvard Business Review by going to the link that'll be in the show notes for you.
If you haven't already hit subscribe. Thank you.